Wednesday, April 3, 2013

I'm not perfect...

So, guess what y'all? 

I'm not perfect. (The title kind of gave it away, huh?)
My house is a mess. And I mean a mess. As in a "I'm completely overwhelmed and will just ignore it because I don't know where to start" kind of mess.

My daughter is almost 8 months old and our room together is no where close to being completed. Granted, I didn't know I was having a girl, but still.

My To Do list is impossibly long. Even if I had three weeks straight of no children and needed no sleep, I'm not sure I could make a good dent in it.

Sometimes I'm just too tired to do anything.

Sometimes my lupus gets the better of me and I spend a lot of the day sleeping. Like today.

Sometimes I don't want to be responsible for every bite that is consumed in this household.

Sometimes I let the kids eat junk.

I second guess myself. And third guess and fourth guess....

I worry about doing what is best for my children.

I'm not perfect.

But I'm trying to forgive myself for these imperfections.  Where has this idea come from that we need to be all things to all people all of the time?  Why do we inflict this upon ourselves? I know it would be easy to blame society (or pinterest!!), but it really is self inflicted. If we all stopped doing it, the pressure from society would be gone.

Because some days I do get some cleaning done. A small victory, but I'm trying to take it.

One day I will have a great girl room for my little Sugar Britches and me to make some fond memories.

Even when I'm tired, I still get a ton of stuff done in a day. Just the sheer amount of  questions and Mommy can you's that I do are enough to knock anyone out.

Most of the times I like being able to say that I feed all of these people.

Sometimes it is okay to eat junk. Even if it is just because mommy is too lazy to cut up an apple.

I will always second guess and worry. But I guess that means I'm doing my job.

Homeschoolers choose a hard road. Not that anyone else has an easy road. But it is really hard to not ever have time to do things like clean or go to the dr while kids are in school.

I have three kids. I know a lot of people have more and do more. But I don't need to compare myself to them. I just need to realize that I'm trying to do the best I can with three kids.

I am not going to strive for perfection.

I'm only going to strive for greatness. And I'm going to keep working on forgiving myself when I fall short of the mark.

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