Well, y'all sure know how to make a gal feel better! Thanks so much for all the encouragement!
We did a lot of talking while Super J was sitting at the table. We talked on and off all day. He was there for hours. He did have books to read, but nothing else.
Oh, and I don't think it helped that I am running on little sleep. Sugar Britches is still teething like a bear! I didn't sleep more than 30 minutes consecutively the night before this incident. And she has been crazed like this at night for more than a week.
The Mad Scientist came home and talked with him. Then during dinner we talked in front of him. I wanted him to see the heartache this caused and see the process of us trying to parent.
Other than pretty mild stuff, he really has never had to be punished. I thought last week after the violent episode, he had enough. But there is obviously still something going on.
A friend and I were talking. She thinks Super J is trying to gain some independence. (He is special needs and has had to have more help during his life than most- for instance, he still can't ride a bike.) I asked him and he said that was it. But I'm not sure if that was really it or if he was just saying that because I asked him. It make sense, but I'm not positive.
We talked and talked more. I explained to Super J that he has a right and obligation to question authority- even us. But he needs to be careful in the manner in which he questions. Questioning is good. Being rude and hateful are inexcusable.
We decided that the "grounding" was sufficient, but we did take away outside playtime with friends for the next two days. (One of his favorite things.) There was a lot of crying and talking and crying and talking.
He says he gets it. He realizes how much his words and actions have hurt me lately. He is a very kind-hearted person.
I hope we are there. I hope he understands. I don't want to go through this again.