scared

So, I guess I'm like most that are new to homeschooling. I'm scared. I have this terrible fear of screwing up my kids... in almost all areas of life. I guess it comes from my childhood being so messed up. I don't want to do that to my kids.

Which means I second guess almost everything. And it isn't any different with homeschool. I worry that I'm not doing enough, that I'm doing too much, that it isn't fun enough, that it is too fun and they won't learn that sometimes you just have to do things that aren't fun. You get the idea. I'm really struggling with finding my homeschool rhythm and methods. I'm unschooling more than I thought I would. But I don't really think of it as unschooling... I think of it more as "unstructured learning". That just sounds better to me, I guess.  We go on a lot of field trips and we spend a lot of time on things that are fun and interesting to us. Which then I start to worry because we aren't doing what public school is doing. And then my homeschooling self argues with me that this is why we homeschool! We don't want to do what public school is doing! I don't agree with what they are doing! And, no, I don't think that it is horrible that kids are sent to public school. I just feel that it is such an institutional atmosphere. I started to write more, but that is a subject for another time. It is too much and too heated a discussion for me right now. You see, it is 70 degrees in the middle of winter, so we spent the day at the park and I'm worn out.  :)

I struggle a lot with my fear. Today I got to chat with a HS mom veteran and she helped me feel better about things. I know in the end it will all work out. I guess it is just in my nature to worry.